ST. LOUIS – Many see the Gateway Arch as a symbol of westward expansion and the iconic landmark that puts St. Louis on the map. But apparently, whether justified or not, it’s not beloved by everyone.
The Gateway Arch boasts an impressive 5-star rating of 4.7 on Google Reviews. That’s after more 37,000 unique reviews throughout several years.
A small fraction of the Arch’s ratings are one-star reviews. Generally, these may stem from expensive or unfortunate experiences. Some of the one-star reviews, however, are downright silly compared to the rest.
Earlier this year, the Gateway Arch had staffers read aloud some trivial reviews on camera. For several participants, it was hard to hold back laughs or smiles.
Between the video and certain reviews FOX 2 spotted, here are some one-star Google reviews of the Arch good for chuckles.
NOTE: Written as verbatim unless otherwise noted. Commentary saved for later.
Casper: “Too ‘arch-like.'” (1 month ago)
Bethany: “Worst McDonald’s ever. No clowns. No fries. Not even gold.” (5 months ago)
Megan: “percy was there but pulled the fire alarm, 1/5 stars.” (5 months ago)
Anonymous: “Never been” (5 months ago)
Harold: “Not a National Park. If it was a national monument I’d give 3 or 4 stars. But if you want to be a National Park I will review you like a National Park. 1 star.” (11 months ago)
Christine: “the gateway to the east, dumb.” (1 year ago)
Keith: “It’s an arch. It just sits there and does arch things, like arch.” (1 year ago)
Micah: “wasnt like the book percy jackson. no mother of monsters” (1 year ago)
Oscarina: “No one likes the graph of y=-x^2+30. >:(” (1 year ago)
Patrick: “Lots of parking but the place is not good to eat I will never eat at a apples bee again” (1 year ago)
Dwayn: “elevators are very scary” (3 years ago)
Roger: “The rest of St. Louis was fantastic. Missouri is a great state. This was about as boring a stop as you can imagine, though. Not worth the time. Definitely not worth the cost.” (5 years ago)
Will: “Too high” (5 years ago)
Brett: “How the heck does the arch get sold out before noon on a Sunday? Boo. Nothing like completely disappointed kids.” (7 years ago)
Moises: “The cardinals they are going to the world series for sure” (9 years ago)
Unknown (Arch Video): “went after Percy broke the arch and committed yeetus. do not recommend for demigods. It’s underground and full of monsters.” (1 year ago)
Unknown (Arch Video): “Not tall enough” (3 years ago)
Unknown (Arch Video): “Because they have a gift shop with some nice things to purchase their and had some pretty shirts with a picture of the arch on them really shiney pictures and I really wanted to buy one but wasn’t able lol” (4 years ago)
Unknown (Arch Video): “I mean, Ive seen better arches, but it is quite round so there is that #learntocode” (5 years ago)
Unknown (Arch Video): “The best place in St Louis” (5 years ago)
The Gateway Arch has collected quite a range of amusing one-star Google reviews, both apparently from visitors and non-visitors alike.
Looking back among this bunch, there seem to be some quirky and nonsensical critiques of the St. Louis landmark.
Some complaints focus on the Arch’s structure, such as how it is too “arch-like,” not the proper size or lacking in resemblance of the two golden arches of the McDonald’s ‘M’ logo. Others express disappointment over the absence of things that don’t exist, like an on-site Applebee’s and mythical elements as portrayed in the Percy Jackson fictional literature series.
Various critiques took things a little more literally, with at least one person challenging the Gateway Arch’s classification of a National Park and another questioning its relationship to a complex math equation.
Perhaps the authors behind these playful one-star reviews have better impressions of the Arch than their remarks imply, but they certainly didn’t let the opportunity for a good joke slip away.
